I’m not sure if Bailey and I should be walking in the woods near our home any more. Just today I met a guy back there named Leo. This may or may not be his real name. He may or may not live on this planet…

Leo, medium-long brown hair escaping from beneath his bandana, wearing a small daypack and carrying a large, white, square-shaped water jug, was also carrying a shotgun. He carries it because there’s a big cougar out there. I can attest to this. And Leo wasn’t the first person I’ve run across toting a rifle in the woods; it’s not strange and I’m not worried about that at all. So we talked about cougars and bears for a bit. Leo seems to be a bit of a “free spirit.”

Then he tells me that just a couple of weeks ago he’d been talking with Don, “the old guy who walks the trails,” in the patch of nearby redwoods (yes, we have a patch of redwoods on the Olympic peninsula–they were planted). According to Leo, Don was sitting on the little wooden bench that he’d built and placed there.

The problem with this is that Don died in August of 2012. He did build the bench but his daughters placed it in that patch of redwoods as a memorial.

Leo found this amazing. Asked me if I was sure about that. I’m sure, Don was a neighbor (Bailey loved him). I described what Don had looked like and Leo confirmed it was indeed him. Leo, who says he’s fifty-seven now, also claims to have known Don since he (Leo) was seventeen. Don moved into our neighborhood after we did so I’m pretty sure this can’t be true. But Leo insisted, says he’s walked and talked with Don many times over the years. (And prospected: he said they found jade, among other stones.)

Leo is now firmly convinced that he’d been talking to Don’s spirit. He was pretty excited about that. He thought it was pretty cool to have been talking with a ghost. And get this: Leo said that when he saw Don two weeks ago it was pouring rain and Don was perfectly dry. Explain that! It had to be a ghost. 

I should mention that the bench Leo “saw” Don sitting upon carries Don’s name, so I’m inclined to believe Leo saw this bench, read the inscription on it, and then took acid.

I didn’t suggest this to Leo.

So that was exciting. And then things got weird.

Leo now tells me that there’s something in the canyon (it’s really more of a gully) that he’s been searching years for, something about which he’s never told anyone. Not a soul. So naturally I asked him what it was. And naturally he told me, what with me being a total stranger and all. For some reason, I wasn’t too surprised by his answer.

If you’ve been following closely and have guessed Dimensional Portal, you’d be right.

Leo then tells me the story about following “Don” through the woods one day, back when Leo was thirty-eight years old. Said he followed him through a canyon and watched him climb up a bare clay cliff near a giant cedar tree and then disappear. Of course, Leo followed. Reaching the spot where “Don” had disappeared, he set his shotgun down and walked forward and BOOM (Leo’s word), found himself in another dimension. A dimension “with trees as big as those in the movie Avatar“. Leo said he was scared shitless. I don’t blame him.

Somehow during all this (the dimension crossing), Leo took his clothes off, or they came off. It’s a little fuzzy and I didn’t really want to ask for clarification. At any rate, he was so scared he fell backwards out of the “portal” and fell down the cliff and “nearly died.” But he was able to gather his clothing and his gun and “get the hell out” of there.

So now, twenty years later, Leo is trying to find this dimensional portal again (which he also believes is only open during a full moon). He says he’s back there every day hiking that canyon looking for it (and apparently still talking to Don). And the reason it’s taken him so long to get back to his search is that he was injured on a construction job ten years ago (his neck and back were broken) and he’s only recently been able to get back to his dimensional portal hunting. He also said something about having some head injury and memory problems. His doctor prescribed marijuana and BOOM (Leo’s word), his memories, all the way back to age three, are now intact. I’d say they’ve been augmented just a wee bit; that must be some good stuff the doctor prescribed.

Leo wanted to tell the government about this but thought they wouldn’t believe him (go figure). He said he did call one of the local TV stations (KING-5 for any locals reading this). His wife thinks he’s crazy. I tend to agree with her. Assuming she actually exists.

I eventually ran into Leo one more time. Here’s that story.